Monday, March 14, 2011

The Grace of Your Light

Dear Elan Vie,

Our precious son, we hold you close in our hearts with the knowing that 6 months ago today I gave birth to you.  From the moment of sunrise this morning, we awoke with the sweet memories of your birth day.  The time has sprung forward now to allow for more light to fill our days, however your presence is still ever gracing our hearts.  I awoke in the dark with sleepy eyes this morning to watch your dad get dressed at 6:00am for an early meeting, and to see him place the pin on his shirt and wear his tree of life necklace in honor of you, as he does each and every day.  We held each other and read our marriage essence, which we painted on our bedroom wall; as we do each morning together as a remembering of who we are.  We hold great inspiration in ending this morning ritual by reading our quality: elan de vie~ our passion for life.  Some days we reach out our arms to you and yell "Elan Vie!" right at the end, with the knowing that you have infused our lives with the pure essence of our elan de vie. 

Our Elan Vie, our sweet elan de vie, we are filled with your light and your pure essence.  We love the essence of our family and the knowing of you as part of us.  We are filled with possibility with the visions of our future children coming to know you as their special brother that holds our family in light and protection.  I feel the grace of your light wrapped around me each morning, that lifts me out of bed to greet the day.  The light I feel is pure and sweet, it is warm and adoring.  It holds us tenderly, wrapping around us like a warm Spring air.  Your light is awe inspiring and opens me to create beauty in my life.

Today I enjoyed slowness, time sitting in our home and in our gardens, reflecting on the journey we have all been on together.  I took in the warm sun and gentle breeze, and felt the grace and love that has surrounded us.  I give thanks to this.  Your dad and I have opened our hearts to so much love, courage, an exuberance for living, a trust to experience life fully in its greatest joy and pain, to honor the sacredness in our lives, and breathe in a deep sense of inspiration.  These have been gifts from you, our son, that have been birthed through us and are now ever present in our lives.

Our sweet son, oh how we miss you. We feel deep sadness in our loss of you and we dream of how beautiful and precious you were in your physical body.  Although we never got to see the beauty of your gaze, we saw your beautiful big eyes, and we can imagine them similar to your dad's big eyes with long eyelashes~ maybe brown like his, or perhaps a clear blue like mommy's.  Maybe you would grow beautiful curls like me too.  We would love to care for you, hold you, and play with you.  Although we deeply miss you, we are inspired by your Spirit and graced with your light each and every day.  You will forever be with us.

Our dear friends and family, we are deeply blessed by your steadiness in your love for us through out the past 6 months and always.   We admire your courage in opening your heart to love us and Elan even when it also hurts so much.  We are held in your presence and love and it pours courage, hope and inspiration into our hearts and lives.

 Elan Vie, our precious son, your sweet and inspiring presence is such a gift to us. 
You are in our hearts and spirits always.  We are so blessed to have you in our family.

We love you, Mom and Dad