Sunday, September 26, 2010
The plus signs on the EPT were so strong and vibrant (and instant). What ensued was elation, celebration, protection, nurturing, tenderness, and making sure the whole world could share in our joy.
We took it slow at first, discussing what we needed from each other, our home, and our relationship before putting anything in to place. We shared with our friends and families. We read and read and read.
It is sweet to look back and reflect upon the whole journey since December and really since we met in 1999. It is hard to realize how much work we have put into ourselves, our marriage, and our emergence as parents and yet is comforting to know that we have such a strong foundation and belief to turn to. That belief keeps us steady and through the tears we are still able to validate our love. We love to love each other.
We realize that this moment does not define who we are as people and as a couple, and yet it is a defining moment and our lives have been transformed regardless of where we would have our intentions lead us. Preparing for pregnancy and emptying our individual plates, and then being pregnant together was one of the happiest times of our marriage. We would often tell people that along our journey. We had arrived at a true point of family, creating our dreams together united. After 5 1/2 years of marriage, Jalene changed her last name to Salus.
We have the journey so well documented both in writing and in photographs. Jalene's nutrition journal and the compost in our backyard even play a part in remembering how we lived and how we live. Each of us letting go of little things, so that we could focus on our little growing guiding light. We even have our little guy's heart beat tracked so well throughout pregnancy and then every contraction up until the operating room. There were never any warning signs.
We want to remember the time fondly, the awe we felt when we saw the anatomy ultrasound, when we found out we were having a boy, the gratitude we felt to everyone who gave us clothes or other baby items, watching Jalene's belly button disappear, feeling the first kick, listening to the heartbeat, taking a photo of momma's belly every 4 weeks, choosing Elan Vie's name, watching J float on noodles in the pool at Allie and Jim's. There are moments when these memories make us smile and moments when they remind us of what we don't have.
We would often say to each other, including Elan, "I love you guys with everything I got." We never imagined the depths of that sentiment. It supported us then, and buoys us know.
Your comments and love continue to support us. Although we are not able to talk to many of you in person yet, it helps us to know that you have heard, believe in us and continue to feel with us.