Sunday, October 31, 2010

Opening and connecting

Elan's parents are doing well. We have had a meaningful weekend of rest, recreation, and stimulation. Yesterday we joined Allie and Jim at a symposium (Awakening the Dreamer, Changing the Dream) that made us think and connect, followed by a walk to the grocery store and cooking a delicious soup together. Today we woke slowly and played with each other. We went for a hike at Torrey Pines State Park. We stopped to assist a fallen cyclist until the paramedics arrived, yet another reminder of the blessing we have all been given. We walked, talked, and connected, synthesizing ideas and heart.

We realize that another one of Elan's gift to us, has been to awaken parts of us more fully. We have been creative in our expression, open to many new things, and find meaning easily. Mostly we move slowly and it allows perspective. While we don't have a physical child to cherish, we cherish the symbols he has left for us and those we create together. We discuss how we want to live and hold space for ourselves, for our son, and for our future children. We have hope.

While we still have moments in the dark, the light continues to shine and we revel in the miracle of the everyday.

On our walk today, we talked about our deepening sense of spirituality; connection to each other and to the world beyond our embrace. Our senses are heightened to the space around us and we are guided by the strength and beauty within each of us.

While we had created space, slowness, and intention for this spirituality in receiving Elan each day during the pregnancy we are now able to more fully actualize it. All of our daily practices had prepared the soil for a deeper sense of purpose. While we were anticipating embracing our son's physical form and nourishing his spirit and creative expression, we planted seeds that allow us now to connect to a deeper sense of who we are. Through expression and discussion of our son, he gifts us and allows us to receive more spiritual and creative fulfillment ourselves. When something like this happens we seek to understand more fully, we look to faith or that which is unseen or unknown; that deeper sense of knowing, that is not manifested in practical explanation, is our spirituality.

In our walk today, we also discussed how the concept of success is intertwined with spirituality, however is often interpreted as an external achievement, rather than the contentment of connection with life. In it's simplest form success is in living and breathing, not in the attainment of something we do not have. We have life, in all its glory to celebrate. We all get to succeed each day in the simple act of living. We have arrived just by being. While ambition may lead us to pursue other images of success, compete towards some goal, or attain something, we are content that we have breath. We have been bestowed the ultimate gift already. We experience the miracle of life, thus we continue to be successful. This does not take away the human spirit or great accomplishments, but it equalizes success as something we all have achieved each and every day just by living. Everyday you wake up a success, there is nothing to battle, nothing to fight, regardless of position or status, you have already won.

Elan also has succeeded. Though he did not live outside the womb for a day, he inspires us to live. His spirit is miraculous as was his physical form.

We live in the simple; knowing that all that is to be attained comes from within and from the connections we have with others and life. Life is precious and miraculous, to be cherished. It is a gift to move slowly and savor it, connect with and receive it. It is beautiful.


  1. Beautifully said. The two of you, and Elan, are frequently on my mind. We love you!

  2. "we have arrived just by being"

    Blessed Be. Your generosity is breathtaking.

    So much love for both of you . . .

    Jean & Chuck

  3. Been thinking of all of you. It's a blessing to experience your gratitude. Prayers from Portland.


  4. A pair of phoenixes you are, you inspire me every day to dig deeper and live stronger.